Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
