Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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