Moan for me like Helen Keller
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
be right there i have to get my cape
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
