she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
