I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
