yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
