that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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