I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
