508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I want to fling myself into the sun
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
