Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
