My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think your dad took our porno
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
