Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
