I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
