I bet he comes in French.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Will exercising make me less horny?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
