he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
