Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
