Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
it's like iHOP with fire
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
