I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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