Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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