Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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