We won't sleep together?
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
