Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
