Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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