it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
