So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
