first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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