Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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