Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize