new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
