I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
