Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
