my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
