Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
