Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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