I heard we made out
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
