were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
