ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
