I'm going to jail i love you
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
