Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
