Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
