this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize