elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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