we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
