I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
