My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
