he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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