Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
do herpes really smell.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
