Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
