Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize