im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
