Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize