The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
even my farts smell like vagina
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
