I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
