Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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