I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize