I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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