Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
