I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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