I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
