I think i peed on brittanys purse
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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