called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
