You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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