So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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