whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize