take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
